The Drubbing

What if there is life on other planets?
What if we found out who the Babushka lady was?
What if women didn’t ask men if they looked fat…ever?
What if Ricky Martin really isn’t gay?
What if LeBron doesn’t win a ring in Miami?

All age-old questions but only one seems to have our attention this summer.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to downplay extraterrestrials, just in case they’re reading this and want to probe me on their next trip zippin around the galaxy or Ricky Martins Menudoesqe rise and fall to fame, again, due to his zombie-like 15-year stroll out of the closet.  LeBron James’s signing in Miami for 6 years in the summer of 2010 will go down as both the greatest signing and pairing in professional sports history or…I’ll say it:

The biggest bust ever.In any sport.
Ever.
Bigger than Ryan Leaf and Sam Bowie.  Combined. Times infinity. Plus one.

Both Miami and their Tri-fuego (like that?  that’s mine. copyright 2010. not really), will bring in 3, if not 4 rings out of the next 6 or Cleveland will be rejoicing and pointing the finger saying, “our freakishly loud-mouthed owner was right after all!”.  You think the Yankees have expectations every year?  All eyes will be on Miami for the next 6.

So what if the Tri-fuego doesn’t win even one?
What if?

Now I don’t necessarily hate LeBron James, in reality I hate everyone, but to keep this article going, he’s a tremendous basketball player.  Of his era.  First off, he can’t hold a can of shoe polish to Mike’s, Magic’s, Larry’s, Bill’s or Wilt’s shoes.  The nice ones with the Italian leather.  It’s only been 7 years.  Then again all these guys won rings in their first seven.  Some had multiple.

Secondly, what has LeBron done?  Really?  Take a look at my thoughts below.

MVP?

I'll trade ya

LeBron has 2 MVP’s in his first 7 years.  That’s not bad.  One of only other 9 guys to do it.  And the other 9 are already Hall of Famers with 2 soon-to-be’s once they hang’m up in Steve Nash and Timmy D.  But in all honesty do we really care about the MVP?  Really?  I could honestly care less about it.  It’s kind of like being an All-Star now a days.  I bet Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Sir Charles and AI would give theirs up for 1 championship ring.  Karl Malone would hand over both for a chance to raise the Larry O’Brien trophy once.  For just a few minutes.

How many times do we hear about how the big names in any sport, Malone, Marino, Barkley, Bonds, and how they never won a championship?  That’s all you hear about their career.  You never hear about Malone’s 2 MVP’s or him scoring more career points than Jordan.  You hear, “He doesn’t have a ring”.  Marino has all those records but…doesn’t have a ring.  It’s a lot more than just having a ring though; I’ll get into that a little later.

Really? These are the next Jordan, Magic and Kobe?

Also look at LeBrons competition during his 2 MVP years.  He was up against an aging Kobe, Duncan and Shaq, a near rookie in Kevin Durant and oft-injured Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony.  Dwayne Wade deserved it in 09 but his Heat team won 23 less games than LeBrons Cavs.  Is that the same as the 80′s battles of Magic, Bird, Isaiah, Barkley, Kareem and Drexler?  The 90′s of Jordan, Olajuwon, Malone, Pippen, Ewing and Robinson?  Or the early 2000′s with Kobe, Shaq, Duncan, Iverson, Garnett and Kidd?  Can you even compare that competition?  Other than Wade and Melo, who’s there now?

Winner?
I already clarified that he hasn’t won a championship but is he a winner in places that are more important?  To focus on the last few weeks, I say with my resounding burning bush voice, “NO”.  He’s proven to be a loser when it comes to handling his exit out of Cleveland.  Seven years as a leader of a team, a 2-time MVP and the face of a city and that’s how you go out?  I know it’s a business but there is also respect in business.  I don’t believe in the, “it’s all business” mentality.  People that say that are those that will rip your heart out on Monday and then ask why you weren’t into work on Tuesday.  It’s never “all business.”  There’s a personal part to every job, story and friendship.  When you’re the next face of a multi-billion dollar league, the best player in the game and oh… it’s your home town club that’s done everything by YOUR book it’s especially true.

Do you blame'm?

I know he doesn’t “technically” owe them anything but how hard would it be to make good on your send off?  It’s that difficult?  He could have paid me a handful of cash and a package of gummy worms and I could have written up about 5-6 exit strategies with class.

What if he left Cleveland with class?  What if?

We would of all go our separate ways saying he wanted to win a championship and he’s a nice guy.  Now he’s the bad boy and I’ll get to that a bit later. It was an ego trip.  A way to put himself above everyone else, like he needs to know that, and say, it’s about me.  Not you.  Me. Do you honestly think the so-called greatest free-agent in the last 20 years does not know where he’s going with only a day left?  You’re kidding me?

Here comes 3 months of my salary

It’s the prime years of his basketball life and he’s going to leave it up to the day before “The Decision”?  What a joke. He knew where he was going all along, so did Wade and Bosh.  They’re great friends and talk all the time.  My friends know if I’m not diggin a job or have plans on doing a side project and I have a handful of friends and my salary is equal to LeBron scoring 7 points.  For the season.

What if he handled it better?

Luke 6?
I don’t think LeBron grew up like me or my wife where the Word has a lot of bearing on your life.  I’m not here to preach or get all up in the Bible since this is a sports column not a religious article.   Making amends goes a long ways in the world and a simple word like “loyalty” is met with respect and fanfare. It’s said in many ways all over the world:

Do to others as you would have them do to you.
What goes around comes around.
Treat people like you would want to be treated.
Good Karma. Bad Karma.
You got my back?
Don’t stab me in the back.
What? Yo Tony, lest get’m.

He could have still been “the chosen one” instead of “the evil one”.  Think about all the players you followed in sports that have handled these situations in the same way as LeBron.  Just one example.

He just doesn't look right in purple eh?

Brett Farve. The guy everyone loves to hate.  He did it to himself just like LeBron.  Toying with us every year whether he’d hang’m up or not.  Than 4 years ago you left Green Bay while making a mockery of your legacy by getting a legal layover in NY then onto the Packers arch nemesis, The Vikings.  That’s like Superman joining forces with Lex Luther.  Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster would light themselves on fire it they wrote that on paper.  Then hate themselves enough to light the paper on fire while being on fire.

LeBron did just that.  He treated Cleveland like you would an old female friend you liked that turned you down for the high school prom 15 years ago and now you want to rub in your seven figure salary, model wife and brand new Lexus LS Hybrid.  You hate those guys don’t you? He could just handle it with respect and class, but no.  Now you just want it to come back at him like a tornado to a trailer park.  Lose his job, wife leaves him with everything and his Lexus breaks down in a really bad area of Cleveland.

Loyalty goes a long way in a legacy.  Especially in sports.
What if Jordan left Chicago for Detroit before the second three-peat?
What if Sidney Crosby left the Penguins for the Flyers after his cup raising?

So, what if he never wins another MVP?
What if he left Cleveland with class?
What if he gets what he’s done back on him?

But back to the first…last…question, what happens if LeBron never wins a championship in Miami?
I mean the odds are unlikely but what if?

Well…

What if the #199 pick in the 2000 NFL draft wins 3 Super Bowls?
What if the Third pick, not the First, in the 1984 NBA draft becomes the greatest player ever?
What if a skinny kid from Ontario that everyone said was too small and thin to play in the big leagues didn’t account for 61 NHL records?

Anything can happen.
My answers are clear.

No. FBI took her and her film. Refer to question one. Pass.
I don’t care since it’s really not all about championships.
More importantly LeBron, be sure to watch out when you’re driving your Lexus through Cleveland.