All their balls are dirty

, Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 10:30 AM Comments (0)

From the summer of ’61, to the spring of ’98. From androstene to HGH. 61. 70. 73. 715. 755. 762.
It comes down to 3 single words.

I don’t care.

Keep in mind these words are coming from a person that has never done drugs, drank or smoke and was a really good athlete in his heyday. I take sports seriously, ask my wife. She once was winning in a game of horse and I kicked the ball to the playground side of the park and hit some kid with it. I also take cheating seriously shown by my straight C’s in high school. I don’t care though, I really don’t and you shouldn’t either. I’ll tell you why with a question.

Where do we draw the line?

This juiced-up chucklehead was forgiven the moment he admitted to being a cheater.

This juiced-up chucklehead was forgiven the moment he admitted to being a cheater.

We have admitted steroids users such as Andy Pettite, Alex Rodriguez and now Mark McGwire and marked users by the media such as Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens and Sammy Sosa in a big stew. Add in Mickey Mantle, Ted Williams (frozen head and all), Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron and any other old guy my dad can mention. How do you separate this testosterone, drug and drunken infested stew?

For one thing you can’t. You can’t separate record books. You can’t have two Hall of Fames even though that would be sweet. Free program for one, free shots for the other. So what do we do about it? Not a damn thing because I don’t care.

It’s the changing ways of the sports realm and the world as we know it. 50 years ago doctors were in smoking ads and they said butter and eggs were good for you. Now they’re bad. Well not all of the egg just the yellow part is bad. What the hell are partially hydrogenated oils? I know what it isn’t. Tasty. And if you want to step it up a notch go organic. You know the definition of organic is: characteristic of, pertaining to, or derived from living organisms. Isn’t that everything?

Years ago the drug of choice in the majors was beer and cigarettes, now it’s something else and 25 years from now it’ll be something else. You don’t separate it because deep down all athletes want an edge. All cheat legally, some cheat illegally. That’s right, all cheat.

You’ve played sports if you’re reading this, if you haven’t, buy a jock then have your friend kick you in the crotch. For those that continued reading without pain or fear of being sterile you know the guys (or gals for you that are pc) that pull on your jersey or push and shove to gain an edge. Call fouls when you don’t’ touch’m. Trip and fall over the ball then raise their hand for a call. What’s so different about a guy stealing signs? Or the roughnecks that come in to hurt a player? Or even roids? Nothing, because I don’t care.

My main question is are you seriously going to keep the home run king, the next home run king, two of the greatest pitchers of our time and a couple 550+ HR hitters out of the Hall? Seriously? Did you just hear yourself? Again, where do you draw the line? Who’s in and who’s out?

Former Cardinals strength coach, Jack Lalanne

Former Cardinals strength coach, Jack Lalanne

Don’t athletes in today’s games have better training facilities and equipment? Science to back their every play, every move, every itch and scratch they get on the field. Medical procedures to keep them playing til they reach the apex of Jack LaLanne standards. Aren’t the old timers at a disadvantage there too? Do we have to boost their stats and take down present day ‘roided players? Don’t’ let computers into the mix then we’ll have the BCS all over again and you know how that’s going.

In the end we should let them all in. Big Mac, Rocket and Arod. It’s a changing world. Records will continue to be broken legally or illegally. No one can police it just do your best to slow it down. Just like the police hire the best criminals to help them in their work, they should do the same here. Put them in as a display of the history of sports and a statement to the future. No asterick. No changing of record books. I think enough has been said by deeming it the “steroid era”. It’s just a different era and they’ll be another to come.

You know why my flippant regard for not caring? For one, I’m usually just like this and secondly, it really doesn’t matter because I won’t be here anyway. A big dirty asteroid will probably take us out one day which will be in the shape of a baseball not a needle. Ironic eh?

Note: This is a guest post by Kevin Tyburski, aka “The Hoff”. You can read more from The Hoff at Sports With The Hoff.

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