The Drubbing

First, I know I have been gone for awhile. Lets not dwell on it. Second, I have recently been asked by a nice lady friend to try and help her with an NFL picks pool. In pursuit of making this fair lady happy, I have actually done research and tried to pick well. So, I figured I would post those picks here. Their selections come out on Wednesday, and I am not even sure what lines they use. You have to pick every game with the spread and add a lock of the week and a point total for the Monday night game. Here goes (HOME TEAMS IN CAPS):

GIANTS (-15.5) Raiders- Oakland is terrible. They will kick off a recurring theme of teams I think are terrible. Their lone win is against Kansas City who is craptastic. That being said, if Eli doesn’t play, I am not betting my hard earned money on David Carr not being David Carr. But I have to pick today, so I will stick with the G-Men in their last softball game to start the year.

Vikings (-10.5) RAMS- The Rams have scored 24 points all season. The Vikings scored 30 last week. Plus, someone told me the Vikings quarterback just beat his incontinence problem and isn’t wearing diapers anymore. That has to be beneficial to the team. Go with the Lady Purple Devils

Cowboys (-8.5) CHIEFS-All of the favorites never win. Someone always craps out. The Cowboys seem to be that team this week. That is all I have. Chiefs.

PANTHERS (-3.5) Redskins-How do you like that line Redskin fans? Actually this game is a game that no one should ever bet on unless they are required to do so in a pool. Here is what you have. An 0-3 team is playing a 202 team at home. The 0-3 team has a QB whose team has quit on him. The 2-2 teams has only beaten teams that have yet to win a game. Oh yeah, the 2-2 team lost a game to a team on a 19 game losing streak. Facebook has been covered with disgruntled Skins fans every Sunday. I have no idea what is going to happen so I asked Jake Delhomme to flip a coin for me. Unfortunately, a Redskin cornerback caught the coin before it could land. Go Skins.

EAGLES (-10.5) Bucs-I will not rely on the Bucs to do anything. They are atrociously horrific. Picking them would require me to actually watch a game hoping they can score points. I cannot do that to myself. Go Eagles.

BILLS (-6.5) Browns-Here is how bad I think the Browns are. I picked Cincinnati as the lock of the week against them last week. CINCINNATI! By the way, I would like to take this time to thank Marvin Lewis for listening to his team. I am sure the city would have loved to see him punt with almost no time left in overtime and play for the tie. Good job Marvin, I am sure your team is overwhelmed with your belief in them. And oh yeah, the winless Browns just traded one of their most talented playerd. Go Bills.

RAVENS (-8.5) Bengals- The Ravens are really good. They just lost. Plus, there is the Marvin Lewis thing. Go Ravens

Steelers (-11.5) LIONS- The Steelers are the better team but they have let every team come back on them late in games. This just seems a bit too high. Go Lions

49ERS (-2.5) Falcons-Should be a great game, one of the best of the week. If this game was in Atlanta I would take the Falcons. Its not, so Go 49ers.

Patriots (-3.5) BRONCOS-I wasnt sure who to go with here, but then I remembered two things. 1) The Patriots won a tough game last week against a better defense. 2) This is Belicheck’s first game against his former underling. Go Patriots.

CARDINALS (-5.5) Texans- Just a hunch, no thought process. Go Texans

SEAHAWKS (pick) Jaguars-Two teams I dont really like. But, this is just about the longest plane ride you can take to play a game in the NFL and it is usually really loud in Seattle. Go Seahawks.

Colts (-3.5) TITANS-I had to ask if this line was a misprint. It didn’t make sense. This is absurd. This is the lock of the week. I am sure MANY people will be large sums of money on this game. Which of course of means the Titans will win. I don’t care, add my money to everyone else’s. Go Colts.

Jets (-1.5) DOLPHINS- The Jets just lost. They hate Miami. Chad Henne is the quarterback. Rex Ryan is good at defensive schemes and will be ready for the wildcat. Go Jets 24-17.