The Drubbing

How do you teach a young man how to be a responsible member of society and be accountable for your actions? By suing Duke University when they get kicked off the golf team of course. But I guess that’s what we should expect from a “student athlete” that embodies the stereotypes often associated with the Duke University student body.

Despite not having a scholarship nor signing a letter of intent, Andrew Giuliani, son of former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, claimed that the coach of the team manufactured reasons and kicked the player off of the team and is seeking an unspecified amount of damages. All this despite the fact that Giuliani has no right to play on a college sports team. Just a privilege that may or may not be extended.

Finding humor in the child’s ridiculous suit and allegations, the judge repeatedly used golf terminology in his dismissal of the suit, bringing humor to the already outlandish court filings. Dixon described Giuliani’s analysis as slicing “far from the fairway.” And states that the plaintiff’s reasoning ”attempts to take a mulligan with this argument; however, this shot also lands in the drink.” The judge even compared Andrew’s request for damages to a scene from Caddyshack.

All of this overlooks what may be the real reason for Giuliani’s dismissal. He sucked.