The Drubbing

Dear L.A. Lakers,

You are a talented team that will undoubtedly make a deep push in the Western Conference playoffs.  We however, have some advice for you during your run.   Please, get a haircut.  We admit that watching a 7-foot center lead a fast break is amazing, but seeing him constantly brush away his un-showered hair out of his eyes is rather annoying.   Maybe if he had ears like his point guard, it may help, but i don’t see them growing to elf-like levels.  We are not just talking about Pau, but also your future X-gamer Vladimir the snow-boarder,  Luke and Sasha.  Speaking of Sasha, tell him typically the WNBA utilizes the  rubber hair bands.   So to help you guys start looking like real professional NBA players, please accept the enclosed gift.  We think it will help.

Sincerely,

The Big Ticket, The Truth, and The Savior – Jesus Shuttlesworth

PS. Thank Luke for supplying the ganja for our Championship after party, as everyone knows, his stash is the stickiest.

*editors note: This was written before Vlad was traded, but since Adam Morrison seems familiar with the Flowbee maybe he can help the rest of the team.