Tyler Hansbrough is a Joke (and I’m not Just Talking About his Facial Expressions)

, Wednesday, February 4, 2009 at 6:57 AM Comments (15)

Tyler Hansbrough press conferenceTyler Hansbrough, site you are no Kevin Love.

Tyler Hansbrough you may be selected player of the year in the Atlantic Coast Conference, click but that does not mean you are the player of the year in the Atlantic Coast Conference.

Tyler Hansbrough, doctor meet Dave Neal who is an unathletic, undersized four man listed at 6-7, 263.  If Dave Neal can push you out from underneath the basket, then just wait until guys like Tim Duncan, Pau Gasol, Amare Stoudamire, and Chris Bosh man you up.

Tyler Hansbrough meet real officials—NBA officials—who simply will not give you the call any time you perform that patented “I’m just going to throw my body into somebody because I know I’ll get the call move.”

Tyler Hansbrough, you will cost an NBA General Manager his job if he takes you in the lottery.

I know that I am expressing the popular sentiment amongst the majority of those in the know, but after watching Carolina play Maryland tonight I came away thoroughly convinced that Tyler Hansbrough will never be a player in the NBA.  In fact, I came away thinking that he will probably be working for ESPN as a college basketball analyst in three years.  I came to that conclusion not because I think that Hansbrough has the potential to be a talented analyst, but because that is the ESPN mantra—take a player off of a popular team and put him on TV no matter how deficient he is at his job.  If Emmitt Smith can keep his job, then Tyler has a future, with ESPN.

Dave NealAs noted above Dave Neal—yes that Dave Neal who looks like he is 6-3, 250 and is better known around College Park for his beer pong game than his game on the hardwood—was able to man up Tyler Hansbrough.  If you look at the stat line, it will not tell you the whole story.  You will see 24 points on 7 for 16 from the floor, but it will not tell you that Hansbrough did it against a guy who really does not belong on the court for an NCAA team, unless that NCAA team plays in the Colonial or the Big South.  It will not tell you that a good percentage came on second shots against an undersized Maryland front line and on run outs that Carolina would not get against better competition.  It will not tell you that Dave Neal pushed Hansbrough out of the paint and made him face up.

Tyler Hansbrough is twenty-three years old and will turn twenty-four before the next NBA season is even two months old.  Tyler Hansbrough has been scoring on superior younger players for the past four years because his body is more mature.  The media still has not gotten the message—it is not impressive.  By age twenty-four Chris Bosh had won a gold medal, averaged a double-double in the 2006-07 season, led the hapless Toronto Raptors to a division title, and made four all-star teams.

It is a farce that Tyler Hansbrough is going to be known as the all-time leading scorer at a school that has produced, among others, James Worthy, Sam Perkins, Jerry Stackhouse, Vince Carter, Antawn Jamison, Rasheed Wallace, and, of course, old 45 himself, Michael Jordan.

Kevin Love

Can't stop the Love machine

So let Dick Vitale and the other college basketball talking heads talk about how great Hansbrough is, but remember one thing—he is twenty-three years old, unathletic, and got pushed around by Dave Neal.  Remember that just because he is white does not mean that he is the next Kevin Love.  He does not have Kevin Love’s passing ability, shooting ability, lateral quickness, or athleticism.  It is insulting to Kevin Love to compare him to Tyler Hansbrough.

When Vitale starts talking so loud during the Draft that you need to mute the volume because his head is about to explode after a team takes international prospect Omri Casspi over Hansbrough, remember one thing—unlike Hansbrough, Casspi has upside.  So NBA General Managers do not risk your job on Tyler Hansbrough unless you want to become an ex-General Manager.

Please, let us all stop referring to Tyler Hansbrough as one of the greatest players to ever don the Carolina blue and start referring to him as what he truly is—at best the fourth best player on his own team behind Wayne Ellington, Ty Lawson, and Danny Green.  Together, let us all see Tyler Hansbrough’s real future, that of a sub-par analyst on the Worldwide Leader.  Finally, let us all remember, Tyler Hansbrough is no Kevin Love.

Rating: -50.00